The key to successful dialogue is openness and honesty in expressing thoughts, feelings and reasoning, and a willingness to share views when the ideas discussed may be controversial or unpopular. The smooth flow of relevant information is at the core of any successful conversation. Learning how to deal with critical conversations and how to handle them well is also learning how to influence every aspect of a person's life. , our friends, and favorite team members, our health) to the work side (career and the community around us). The consequences of avoiding or spoiling an important conversation can be quite severe, as every aspect of people's lives can be affected, from a personal perspective (relationships with loved ones). “Biologically, humans are designed to manage stressful situations with their limbs (and related hormones and chemical reactions), not with mind and concern.” In most cases these situations come randomly without warning, and many people can only react unconsciously.” Many people simply don't know where to start when faced with situations. But in most cases, they don't do it well at all, for some reason. People often try to manage this situation to the best of their ability. What is a decisive conversation?Ī decisive conversation is a discussion between two or more people where (1) the meaning is important, (2) the opinions differ, and (3) the emotions are strongly expressed. Kerry has won numerous awards and was selected as a finalist for the year of the Entrepreneurs Awards organized by Ernst and Young in 2004. Kerry is the co-author of The Balancing Act: Mastering the Competing Demands of Leadership and two New York Times bestsellers, Decisive Negotiations: Negotiation Skills in Decisive Situations (Crucial conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high), and Decisive confrontations: the skill to deal with broken commitments, violated expectations, and misbehavior. He previously taught at the Marriott School of Management at Brigham Young University and co-founded Interact Performance Systems. Kerry began his research on the challenges of developing and maintaining effective organizations during his doctoral work at Stanford University. Kerry Patterson is the Chief Development Officer and Co-Founder of Vital Smarts, a world leader in organizational performance and leadership. The author's goal in this book is to teach people how to handle and even master decisive conversations, and thereby change people's lives. In addition, by approaching a conversation in a particular way, you shape a behavior for use in all subsequent conversations. An element of everyday human activity that can be changed forever in the future, for better or for worse. These repetitive daily activities affect everyone's lives in a variety of situations, and the outcome of these pivotal conversations is incredibly important. That's not a concept the book's authors meant They care about the interactions that happen to everyone.ĭecisive talks are defined as discussions between two people where there is significance, opinions are divergent, and emotions are strongly expressed. Discomfort can easily lead to “silence or violence.” Find a neutral place where both can speak freely.The phrase “decisive talk” conjures up images of great figures and statesmen engaging in meetings and discussions whose outcome will have an impact on the world.Create an environment where everyone is comfortable to participate in the conversation.Letting your emotions lead the conversation can lead to anger and frustration, not solutions.Remaining reasonable and focused on the outcome of the interaction can lead to a productive conversation.It’s easy to want to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself when a conversation is tense, but the more you share, the more there is to be understood.Be open and honest without having your defense up.With emotions peaked, conversations can soon turn into arguments.Emotion reigns in high-tension conversations.If Some conversations can turn from good to ugly quick it’s essential to know why.
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